Monthly Archives: January 2016

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Consequences of divorce

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Just keep your faith

I have spoken or even counselled people that have problems in their relationships. I have noticed that someone will come to me merely for ease of consciousness but I have vowed that I will never advise anyone to choose divorce as a solution.

What happens to someone who is being abused, beaten up daily? Should she/he stay there until killed? No, absolutely no!
Nowadays people are quick to divorce. Every marriage will somewhat go true shaking.
If you think it is hot in your marriage, take time and think about being single again.
Some of the consequences include: rejection, identity crisis etc
I personally can say I triumphed over divorce but most pain came through rejection. No matter how much you can explain why you opted out, people don’t forgive you. They are always ready to make conclusions from your mistakes, fates, mishaps etc , then you hear someone say ” that’s why your/her husband left her/you. I remember this time at work  someone complimented me and the other lady turned and said ” if she ( referring to me) has a good heart then why can’t he keep men”. If you happen to remarry the man , your new husband is most likely to refer your mistakes to your past.

The society at large does not forgive divorce. The bible says God hates divorce. My interpretation of that scripture is that, God is more concerned about our well being, Jeremiah 29:11. Church looks at divorce as sin. God forgives sin. But as a loving father He is more concerned about what divorce does to His children.

Think about when you have to start all over again in life. One day you are Mrs the following day you are Miss. This is worse with our traditions where people are classified according to their marital status. In traditional functions you either married , widowed or single there is no inbetween. The religious denominations stigmatise you. Divorced people face rejection all the time , having to justify themselves all the time. You meet people who will still refer to you as married , then justification faces you and it is hard to separate it from condemnation.

Think about loneliness, vulnerability, manipulation etc. These are the consequences of divorce.  Whilst still hurting it is easier to resort to remain single but as you heal and years advance you need companionship. All men of your age will be married. the ones who approach perhaps want to take advantage of you in the form of adultery and fornication…..

 

To be continued


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