Healing the internal wounds

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Healing the internal wounds

healing the inside wounds

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I was reminded of a day I took a trip to a town called Alice. I travelled by bus from city of Durban which is ten hours trip to the destination.

A very restless young girl sat next to me. I kept wondering why she was that restless. She was quite a talkative type. At the first station she went outside and I saw her smoking cigarette and she came inside the bus quickly and took tablets. She repeated this routine at the following station, but I didn’t have courage to ask her what was going on.

They switched the air conditioner off in the bus, then I started picking up a funny smell which was getting stronger and stronger and I was getting really uncomfortable to an extent of covering my noses. This young girl then said to me, ‘ you must be wondering what is smelling’. ‘Of course yes’, I replied.

She pulled up her pants on one of her legs and showed me a wound behind, a size of a cup saucer. A deep wound! She then narrated the story of how she got deep vein thrombosis, having been in and out of hospitals for over two years the situation gets worse. She smokes to ease the pain and she lives on pain killers.

Wherever she is there is a stench. It is hard for her to be in public without making people uncomfortable. This happens with people with uhealed inner wounds. Hurt people hurt others. From my experience of abuse, the man who abused me had witnessed his mother being abused by his step father.

When we do not deal with issues we afford them an opportunity  to deal with us and make us bitter and miserable beings who make everyone around us miserable.

Do you know that person in your work place who causes trouble for everyone, when he or she shows up you know that peace will depart? That person has unhealed internal wounds.

I cannot over emphasize that nothing ever happens by chance in life. The pain you went through was meant to build you not break you. When your dad abused your mom and you saw the pain your mum experienced, why must you go and abuse your wife? This is because you never allow yourself to heal.

Healing comes from above, from the architect of our lives; the creator. For whatever happened to you was not meant for harm.

The first step to healing is admitting that you have a problem and you need help. Then you have to open up to someone and be able to pour out your heart. Buried secrets will destroy you.

Close the door and pray this prayer:

Father in heaven, I know that you LOVE me and you created me with good intentions and purpose. I come before you, and I ask you by your Holy Spirit to heal my inner wounds. I know that you are the only one who can make me whole. From today my life will never be the same again. Be the Lord of my body, soul and spirit. Take complete control of my emotions. I ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Amen

 


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PAIN IS PART OF LIFE

Raising up a child as a single parent always leave you with suspense of what your child really thinks of the situation.

I always remind my daughter of fathers that are available but cannot even provide for their children purposely.

Life, just like a house has a unique plan. My life plan is different from yours. When one builds they choose whether they build by straws, stone, bricks etc. The material you use determines the value of the house.

The architectures draw the plans and inspect if you are building according to the plan. Whether your parents died on an accident or you have the wealthiest parents is still part of your life plan.

Pain is part of life and you can never avoid it. Many people end up on substance abuse/ drugs just to escape or ease pain. Whatever it is that is happening in your life today, it is part of your life journey and it is not there to kill you but tobprepare you for your destiny.

In the previous blog I made example of people who are successful business man but were selling sweets at school. Some people were a mockery and victims of bullies at school because of their bodies but today they are top models.

Some people look like their fathers and resort to change their sexuality because they want to ease the pain. Some people are even addicted to porn because they want to fill the void inside them.

Have you ever seen someone who drinks alcohol to drown their sorrows, but as soon as they are drunk they start crying and mourning about the same sorrows they were drinking to drown.

Escapism is not a solution. Face your pain because it is not there to kill you but it is a detour or a sharp curve leading you to your destiny. If you think you are too ugly, it is time you start using your ugliness to your benefit. The architect knows that even a broken brick is needed in the corner of a building. If you think you are useless or failure , think again.

Life is a precious gift from the creator and pain is the building block of life. Have you ever noticed that the language of an infant is crying. When they are hungry they cry and you attend to them. The first thing the baby does at birth is; cry.

It is time that you find the purpose of your rejection. There has sprung up a generation which can’t bear pain. If you scold them they go on drugs or commit suicide. Pain is part of life, pain has purpose and nothing ever happens by chance no matter how bad it is.

Do you remember that dumb student from your class who has PHD today? He took failure positively and learnt to work hard and never give up.

Some women hate their monthlys such that they use pills to stop it. Why would the creator allow women to go through such pain every month? Do you think it is a mistake? No!

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LIFE: THE PERFECT GIFT

It has been long since I have written a blog. I engaged on a revamp project and there were a lot of obstacles. Irrespective of those obstacles, the good news is: my book is now available from my website. Please support me by purchasing the book. Go to ‘menu’ click on ‘sPhoto(11)lhop’, then ‘add to cart’and follow instructions.

Problems, obstacles, hindrances, pain, disappointment etc all sound negative but they are part of life. In fact they the building blocks of life.

Everyone has a story and each story is different and unique in it’s own way. It was never the aim of the creator that we go through pain, therefore He ensures to undertake for us.

In every challenge that we go through there is always a lesson to be learnt. One of famous Bishop TD Jakes’ teachings “Nothing just happens” unpacks secrets of life.

One of the greatest African entrepreneurs Strive Masiyiwa used to sell sweets at school, but today he is one of the greatest entrepreneurs.

When life seems harsh, you must know that it is shaping you for greater things. Some people grow up in tin houses only to turnout to be great builders and end up owning construction companies.

You might say, I grew up without my dad or I don’t know my parents, I went to bed hungry etc, but if you look closer in the situation there is a lesson life was teaching you.

When we grew up we were always a mockery in our area due to how my dad treated us; like boys. He never used to hire a painter. He would get us to paint the house. When we were moved into a new area, we were given land that hardly had any soil but rather more rocky. My dad made us get the soil and fill in the holes. A complete public spectacle! But the same land that everyone despised is now green and everyone asks for few acres. Now we have more than enough land in an area we were issued because it looked useless.

Life can be rough and unfair but you can turn it to gold and even platinum. I assure you of this; the purpose of every pain is purification ; just as gold goes through fire before becoming gold.

Now drugs, alcohol, bitterness, murmuring etc won’t help you. Close the door and ask your maker what to do with the situation. You will be surprised his much ideas you will come out with. He said He will pour His spirit upon all flesh. What looks like is there to kill you, is your ticket to success.

In conclusion; I want to tell you that I was very intelligent in school. I didn’t know what was to fail. The people that were not so good in class some of them are professors today because failure taught them to work hard and never give up. Me, on the other side, when I saw fail for the first time I thought of suicide.

 

 


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SlTE REVAMP

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Faith is answer

I would like to express my sincere gratitude to all my readers and followers. Your support is greatly appreciated

We are busy revamping the site to make it more user-friendly so we can increase our service level standards, hence the delay on the next blog. We will now have a newsletter, so you can subscribe.

Please be aware that the aim and the content of the blog is that of a motivational nature. We strive to encourage, exhort, and bring hope to people of all ages.

Your comments are greatly appreciated. May the Lord bless you abundantly for your continued support.

Please download my book: Open the word faith, from: http//publishers.grashyo.co.za/index.php/product/open-the-word-faith-e-book/

 

 

 


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WHY DO PEOPLE COMMIT SUICIDE

People commit suicide all the time and in most cases they do not leave suicide note, which leaves family and friends devastated. Sadly but true, because the person would be dead nobody can ask them any questions.They leave family and friends with guilt and condemnation.I have done some research, asked a few people mostly young people about the subject. I basically asked them whether they ever thought of killing themselves or not. Most of them answered no, but others said yes.Todd B. Kashdan PHD physiology today, says suicidal people acquire this capability from for example, playing violent extreme sport, body piercing, shooting guns, fights etc. I agree with him to a certain extent though. Because I worked for police force and I have witnessed police killing themselves through suicide, where they would shoot themselves. Mentalhealth daily.com lists 15 causes of suicide but for now I want to share my personal story. I will refer to the research on my next blog.

 

I grew up as a quiet child, I was never angry, hated fights and all I wanted was peace. No matter how much I was offended I would never burst into anger. I was very forgiving and understanding. But I always had sadness deep inside me, I felt like nobody loved me. I would have imaginations of rejection where I would see myself homeless, or having an accident and die. One of the things that would trigger this feeling was how my dad treated me differetly from other kids. I did not know the reason then. I have shared this as introduction on my book, ‘OPEN THE WORD FAITH’.

I never shared these feeling with anyone. I got saved , I started preaching and mainly my message was exhortation , encouraging people to press on in life. As much as I was spirit filled when I was deeply hurt, I used to wish to die, even when I already had a child I never thought of, who would take of my child if I die. I would want to kill myself but then , think about hell. This one time they had a discussion about this topic on a Christian radio programme whether, if one has commited suicide will go to heaven or not. The conclusion was more like , yes he/she will go to heaven. There, they eased my conscious.

Then I happened to be in an abusive relationship. This oneday I took tables and swallowed them, luckily I was seen and got rescued. They gave me milked to drink though I was not hospitalised I passed out the whole day. After that incident I tried killing myself about three times using bleach, but I never died.

I will elaborate more on the next blog. For now the point I want to make is: it takes time before anyone kill themselves. One meditates on this for a long time before doing it. These thought surmount until they reach a place where someone just do it, thats why usually there is no suicidal note. It is a scary thing to do. Sometimes you hope to be rescued. Parents please findout if your children ever have these thoughts. To someone who is suicidal, please take courage and share this with someone you trust, expose this spirit before it takes hold of you. Come on God created for a reason, if it wasnt so you would not be born. Life is worth a living. You might be experiencing problems, but problems are part of life journey. Please dont kill yourself. If you think noone loves you, at least

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Faith is answer

remember, God loves you. You are beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully made, created in His image. Please check the next blog in two weeks time.

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NEW POST

 

I will be writing a new post on Friday the 06/May/2016.

My blogs are free but your support in purchasing my book will be highly appreciated. It costs R65 an ebook. You can also share my link and invite others to fownload.

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Faith is answer

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THE LOVE MYSTERY – A CONTINUATION!

Love

Love

On the previous blog we emphasised self-love. There are different types of love, amongst them the chief one is agape love. This is a God kind of love. When you feel that noone loves you rest assured that God loves you and it is this confidence on being loved that helps you to love yourself and others. Self love sounds more like selfishness or self centeredness yet it’s not. Loving yourself must never be at the expense of others. When you look at yourself in the mirror and admire yourself, even when others don’t do it , that is self love. You might be a little ill-favoured but trust me it is for a reason, and that reason can be understood by understanding the agape love. When you understand the agape love then you know that you are not on earth by chance but by choice and God’s choice. You are on earth for a purpose. Irrespective of how and where you were born, you are still on earth by God’s purpose. Everything you are, that ill-favouredness is for a purpose, embrace it and find the purpose. How many people were a mockery at school because they were thin, yet today they are top models. How many allowed this mockery to tarnish their self-steem , ended up committing suicide. That which you think is meant to kill you, that which you think is a mistake is nothing but a VEHICLE transporting you to your destiny. The bible says in Jeremiah 1 ,before you were in your mothers womb I knew you. God did not make a mistake, you are definitely not a mistake nor a part of your body. You might say you are a rape child! Rape was a mistake but you are not a mistake, being in poverty is not a mistake it is just a VEHICLE to your destiny. One of the fastest runners was born in Africa and used to travel long distance to school, which trained him, enabling his muscles to stretch to the utmost. SELF -LOVE! Love yourself for you are unique, fearfully and wonderfully made. You were not born by chance but by God’s choice. Connect the agape love. Knowing that he loves you will help you love yourself. How about waking up every morning, looking at yourself in the mirror, admire yourself and thank God that He fearfully and wonderfully made you. Start appreciating the big nose, those big ears…

#SELFLOVE

#AGAPE LOVE

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MY BOOK-OPEN THE WORD FAITH

To everyone that is supporting my blogs, I would like to pass my sincere appreciation. On the same note I want to apologise for features, I am experiencingg technical problems.

I have a book that is available online. The book is about how our faith gets challenged everyday. In everything that we do in life we need faith, which is like a force suitable to bring every action into motion. I adopt one of Newtons laws of motion and rephrase it this way ‘for every faith in action there is an equal but opposite challenge in reaction. Before you start a business for example, you don’t have guarantees of success inasmuch as you can do research and implement a good marketing strategy. Businesses fail irrespective! What really keeps everyone going in life is the hope that things will workout. The winds of life will always blow against us, but it is faith that keeps us going. It is faith that acts as a force that helps us overcome these challenges.

I layout some of the life challenges in this book. It is full of a message of hope, that will encourage you to keep on and don’t give up.

The book is available in South Africa- Durban at Adams book sellers, it is also available online http://publishers.grashyo.co.za/index.php/product/open-the-word-faith-e-book/

It is also available on paperback, just substitute eBook by paperback on the same link

You can email me : nolundi@nolundi.co.za.

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I WILL BE CONTINUING ON THE MESSAGE OF LOVE SOON- PLEASE KEEP AN EYE FOR IT

 


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THE LOVE MYSTERY

I would like to apologise for the delayig blogging, I have been experiencing severe technical errors. Last week I completed the whole writing process and the system refused to publish.

Love is one of the most popular words and topics in life. It becomes more of a central feature of life. From birth we want, long and year for love. Most songs and poems are about love. Yet most people that are hurt, in mental hospitals, sick, depressed and even dead the main cause is love.

There is one thing a friend of mine said to me, which touched my heart, he said before you say you love someone else, learn to love yourself. #SELF-LOVE.

Ask yourself this question, ‘do I love myself’. I grew up amongst a lot children at home, and all we strived for was to be loved. We had issues of who was mom’s favourite, who was dad’s favourite which led to nothing but bitterness, strife, contentions etc.

In this quest for love we forget to halt and learn to love ourselves. We look at people to love us, yet due to lack of self-love, we fail to receive love for we haven’t mastered it within.

I do not want to say much, but will expand on my next blog. For now I want to bait a challenge: DO YOU LOVE YOYRSELF/ HAVE YOU LEARNT TO LOVE YOURSELF. #SELF-LOVE?

  • What if people love you but you keep rejecting them?
  • What if you blame anyone else yet you are the one who can’t receive love?
  • What if people don’t really love you, don’t you think loving yourself will make a difference?
  • What if loving yourself is all that matters?
  • Have you ever admired yourself before others do?

I will greatly appreciate your comments but above all , let’s start loving ourselves. The only way to learn to love ourselves is, by first connecting to the source of love. I love me for me , how about you?

Please download my book Open the word faith by Nolundi Mamfengu online http://publishers.Grashyo.co.za/index.php/product/open-the-word-faith-e-book

The picture of the book appears on my profile. If you experience any difficulties downloading please inform me. You can also obtain a hardcopy at Adams booksellers. God bless you as you buy

 


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Church and divorce

FAITH STANDS WHEN ALL FOUNDATIONS ARE SHAKENWhilst still on the subject of physical divorce, let us take a quick glance on spiritual divorce. People in nowadays move from one church to the other. Regardless the reasons, this affects the church directly and indirectly. I grew up as a Methodist and I recall when you were to relocate/ transfer or move to another church youwere required to obtain  a remove/testimonial from the church you are vacating. This made the work of the leadership easier since the testimonial would have information regarding the moving believerl, which will guide the leaders even on the spiritual level of that particular believer. This might sound very much of a tradition but it worked, but I do not mean it was without flaws. Imagine if I leave my church already an elder or a deacon and when I get to the new church, there has to be a struggle of adaptation with noone aware of my capabilities and incapabilities. You find that some people suffocate within the church. This spiritual divorce has become no different from marriage divorce. Mind you, you were joined into that particular body of Christ and for whatever reasons you are now detached to join another body. Am I saying people should stay in a church that is of no benefit to them, absolutely not. What I encourage is that you will have challenges at church and wherever possible, endure and move out if really there is a push. Also I encourage churches to have proper systems in place on how to receive people more especially those that are from churches or have been members of the church. The church is full of wounded soldiers, people that got hurt from one church and moved to the other with open wounds. Wounds that never get healed. Sometimes we are happy that our churches are full but we don’t know what it is full of. These people are suffering the same pain divorced people suffer. At some stage I was angry with God for what happened in my life. I am not proud of this, but it’s a fact. My anger was directed to God. I couldn’t stay away from church then my prayer was; Lord may I find a church where nobody will even ask me of my name and indeed it happened. I stayed in that church for years, coming in and going out. It didn’t make my pain better but I got worse by day. I did things that hurt me even more. I started indulging on sin for nobody knew who I was.spiritual divorce is tarnishing the image of the church as some of the disconnected individuals begin to spread false doctrines. I understand some people relocate or are even directed by Holy spirit to move to another church. But at least resign and be released so you go out with a blessing. What really hurts is when people move out and keep moving around without control. Let the leaders learn to release people when they decide to move. If and when as a leader you are not in agreement with the the members decision , advise them acvordingly, if they insist release them like the prodigal son. Do not curse them, who knows they might reconsider and come back. I strongly believe that if your leader has trusted you with a flock, and there is a sudden mmisunderstading which pushes you to leave, give back the keys and the flock for, surely it does not belong to you. I know people that are called that their leaders refuse to release and I know people that felt they were called and went out prematurely irrespective of warnings. We need to be sincere and understand the purpose of the church. We are in a race, but it is a relay not a competition. Serving is not for personal gain but for the perfection of the church and working of our Christ like character. HOPE REMAINS FOR WE KNOW CHRIST IS PERFECTING HIS BRIDE ( THE CHURCH)


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