Monthly Archives: December 2015

Divorce and the divorced

It is 16 days of activisimn against women and child abuse. My take on the subject is that, we need to start to look at the roots and try as far as possible to deal with the roots so we can conquer the tree.

I was in an abusive relationship, beaten up for petty things like why I gave such a glance. The man that abused me came from an abusive home where the mother ended up divorcing the man. The man was not a biological father to my X. He sexually molested him and it even had health effects on him.

My X got born again but surely he did not go through any counselling or rather did not disclose and deal with his childhood wounds. And there he was married to me beating me up.

My point here is: at times we ignore how much damage divorce is doing in our society. How many people get affected by divorce. The children that are raised by divorced parents grow up bitter and tend to be abusive. Some of them, even before the parents resort to divorce, the environment at their homes is usually not peaceful, parents are forever fighting. Please note, that the children are growing in such environment and it is said, ‘,children learn what they live’.

I strongly believe that any abused person becomes abusive whether consiously or not. How does he/she come abusive: imagine everyday your thoughts are all about fighting and how you are going to defend yourself. Remember you are what you think, out of the abundance of your heart your mouth speaks, and what you meditate on you will do. As much as you are the victim but all your thoughts get shaped in fighting, so you become a fighter.

Divorce is something that we should not ignore. I believe everyone has a role to play to calm this disease. Firstly we need to acknowledge the negative impact it has in our society. You might have your family all strong and peaceful but your child goes and marries someone who is a divorce victim, then you start suffering the divorce effects.

This goes for spiritual divorce as well. We are at a situation where people move from church to church and we never make a effort to deal with the causes of that. We ignore how much damage this spiritual divorce is doing in the church of God.

When one is married and things are not going well it is easy to find divorce as a solution, but no one thinks about the consequences. When you have problems in your church denomination it is easier to think of leaving but no one thinks of the consequences.

Divorce hurts more than people think. On my next blog I want us to outline some consequences of divorce on both physical and spiritual divorce.

In psalm 51 David repents of his sin and he says he will tell the sinners of the effect of sin. For us that have been through divorce it’s time we arise and raise the awareness. Breaking a covenant and breaking a promise are two different things.


May the Lord bless you as you read, may you take time to ponder on the subject and above all may you do something towards stopping divorce.

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